This is where I struggle.
Because I doubt out loud.
I thank the Lord for providing all of our needs, but then I say to my husband, “I don’t know how we are going to do this.”
My heart wants to step out in faith, but my mind races with too many thoughts. It’s risky. To believe. Because what if….
And we are left with the choice to face the what ifs in the face of the God we know.
Too often I think…and then say, “I know He can do it, but does He want to do it for me?”
Because I’m such a mess. And my faith so flimsy.
But every time – EVERY TIME – I have stepped out and done something totally outrageous in the world’s view – He caught me. When spending more money or quitting a job or being real has been risky – it was never too outrageous for Him. I’ve done things that didn’t make sense – common sense – because I just couldn’t shake the heart cry to move. on. it.
I question every decision. Always have. I think if I think enough – I’ll reach that place of peace. If I look at all the variables and hash it out with ten people – I will come to a place of knowing. When the only things that have taken me closer to Christ are the steps out of the boat. Because even when I sink, I’m closer to Him.
And He whispered to me, “Let your heart catch up, child.”
Take the action and the feelings follow. Speak the faith and let it become alive in you.
Actions that make little sense to us seem to make the most sense to Him.
Like washing in the river seven times or rubbing mud in your eye. Because, obviously that would heal a guy.
Like giving more when you have less, because that’s the first thing your financial adviser would tell you to do.
And sometimes, the real faith is found when you obey quietly, unbeknownst to anyone but your God.